A lot of couples that have children together don’t anticipate that they’ll ever parent apart, but not all relationships are meant to last.
For a lot of divorced or separated parents, co-parenting becomes a new way of parenting and something that no one really prepares you for.
Some quiet truths of co-parenting are useful to know so that you can at least be prepared for it, if it’s a situation that ever becomes real for you.
The emptiness of transition
The profound silence and ache that comes after dropping the kids off at the other parent’s house is a shock to the system the first time it happens. While it’s helpful to be told it gets easier, that ache and longing to be with your kids at all times never truly goes away.
The transition of handing over the kids can be a hard one for both parents, regardless of whether it’s a 50/50 split or not.
Ongoing legal disputes
While having to co-parent, you may also be going through a lengthy legal process that can often influence your relationship with and your ex-partner.
Having a Family Lawyer Bendigo might be helpful when it comes to liaising with the partner on a legal level and making sure that the relationship remains a positive one for the sake of the kids. Although that can be another hurdle to manage when it comes to coparenting, that doesn’t always go to plan.
Feelings of guilt and shame
It might be that you’re feeling guilty for not being with your kids and ashamed for resenting the other parent’s time that they have.
As a result, you may feel like you’re losing your identity as a full-time parent. Of course, that’s a feeling that’s valid and often always felt by parents on either side of the relationship. Co-parenting is never easy, even when the relationship between the parents is a good one.
Unspoken resentment
Even with good co-parenting, resentment can often simmer, and you might struggle with some of the choices that the other parent makes when they have the children. From making choices without you to disagreeing with what you do with your kids, there’s a lot of emotional exhaustion that comes as a result.
How to navigate co-parenting
So, how can you navigate co-parenting successfully? What tips are handy to know to make it a little easier on yourself?
Acknowledge the grief
You are likely to feel grief when it comes to co-parenting. It’s something that no one prepares you for, and so it’s something that you know to acknowledge and accept might always be there.
Seek support
Finding therapists can prove useful when you’re looking for like-minded people who know what you’re going through. It’s not just the legal side of divorce, but everything that comes with it when co-parenting.
Focus on your own well-being
Recognize your own needs and try not to let the stress of it all overwhelm you. You want to focus on yourself during this time, so that you can give your best version of yourself to others.
By doing all of the above, you might find coparenting a little easier to navigate when you have all the details.
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