Sunday, 1 April 2012

#dosomethingyummy Survival

I am where I am today in my life because I survived depression. 

I have a fiancée who I love dearly because I managed to crawl out from the dark hole I had found myself living in and start to venture out into the World once more.  I am a mum to a beautiful boy because I did not let the fears and sadness that consumed my thoughts take over my life anymore, I decided to live life and take a chance on happiness.

A few years ago I felt like I had lost myself, I was in a big, black hole feeling like I had no future.  I felt numb and distant from those who I loved, shutting myself away.  I could not explain why I felt the way that I did, why the dark shadow of depression was all consuming.  Unlike a broken leg my illness was not obvious, I felt ashamed and could not face people knowing how I really felt.  I hated feeling the way I did but I found myself deep in the black hole and couldn’t find a way out, no ray of shining light to guide me out.

After years of my life being on hold, consumed by the darkness I was desperate for something to change, for my life to be better.  It was a slow process but thanks to the support of my loving family and slowly building up courage to once again re-enter the world and start living I shook off the shackles of depression.

If I hadn’t managed to survive I dread to think what my life would be like right now, if at all but thankfully I found my way out of the big, black hole I had been living in.

I survived that dark period in my life that was filled with depression and I now feel free.  Yes depression and anxiety hangs over me like a dark shadow and I experience little blips along road that shake me to the core but I feel stronger than ever before and the love I get from my little family is a power presence overshadowing the darkness.

I have a beautiful little family and even though we aren’t perfect my dreams have come true.  I no longer am tied to a life filled with all consuming depression but have a life full of smiles, laughter and happiness and Bug is my ray of sunshine who helps we fight the darkness.

This post is for week 4 of the I Am Typecast weekly prompts for #dosomethingyummy (I am a tad slow getting this done, week 4 has already been and gone and Yummy Mummy Week has also finished but as I had written the other posts I wanted to do this aswell to show my support to a brilliant charity).  It has been written to help promote CLIC Sargent and Yummy Mummy Week using the weekly prompts from Nickie at I Am Typecast.  This week’s prompts are based around the theme of “Survival” and I have chosen to write a Personal Post – “Tell us your story of survival.  What did you overcome?”

Information about the brilliant work CLIC Sargent does can be found on their website.


  1. You've written really movingly about depression. I cannot imagine how you felt or how you managed to drag youself out of it. I've always been very lucky and had a sunny and optimistic attitude to life so it's really hard to imagine how anyone can be so depressed.
    I'm so pleased you've fought back. Well done! 

  2. So moving, and wonderful for someone to actually talk about it x

    1. Thank you. Its not often I share so openly but it felt very good to write about it, really must do so more often x