Sunday 1 April 2012

#dosomethingyummy Survival

I am where I am today in my life because I survived depression. 

I have a fiancée who I love dearly because I managed to crawl out from the dark hole I had found myself living in and start to venture out into the World once more.  I am a mum to a beautiful boy because I did not let the fears and sadness that consumed my thoughts take over my life anymore, I decided to live life and take a chance on happiness.


A few years ago I felt like I had lost myself, I was in a big, black hole feeling like I had no future.  I felt numb and distant from those who I loved, shutting myself away.  I could not explain why I felt the way that I did, why the dark shadow of depression was all consuming.  Unlike a broken leg my illness was not obvious, I felt ashamed and could not face people knowing how I really felt.  I hated feeling the way I did but I found myself deep in the black hole and couldn’t find a way out, no ray of shining light to guide me out.

After years of my life being on hold, consumed by the darkness I was desperate for something to change, for my life to be better.  It was a slow process but thanks to the support of my loving family and slowly building up courage to once again re-enter the world and start living I shook off the shackles of depression.

If I hadn’t managed to survive I dread to think what my life would be like right now, if at all but thankfully I found my way out of the big, black hole I had been living in.

I survived that dark period in my life that was filled with depression and I now feel free.  Yes depression and anxiety hangs over me like a dark shadow and I experience little blips along road that shake me to the core but I feel stronger than ever before and the love I get from my little family is a power presence overshadowing the darkness.

I have a beautiful little family and even though we aren’t perfect my dreams have come true.  I no longer am tied to a life filled with all consuming depression but have a life full of smiles, laughter and happiness and Bug is my ray of sunshine who helps we fight the darkness.

This post is for week 4 of the I Am Typecast weekly prompts for #dosomethingyummy (I am a tad slow getting this done, week 4 has already been and gone and Yummy Mummy Week has also finished but as I had written the other posts I wanted to do this aswell to show my support to a brilliant charity).  It has been written to help promote CLIC Sargent and Yummy Mummy Week using the weekly prompts from Nickie at I Am Typecast.  This week’s prompts are based around the theme of “Survival” and I have chosen to write a Personal Post – “Tell us your story of survival.  What did you overcome?”

Information about the brilliant work CLIC Sargent does can be found on their website.

3 comments:

  1. You've written really movingly about depression. I cannot imagine how you felt or how you managed to drag youself out of it. I've always been very lucky and had a sunny and optimistic attitude to life so it's really hard to imagine how anyone can be so depressed.
    I'm so pleased you've fought back. Well done! 

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  2. So moving, and wonderful for someone to actually talk about it x

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    1. Thank you. Its not often I share so openly but it felt very good to write about it, really must do so more often x

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