Monday, 27 January 2020

How to be kinder to yourself


There’s a very important question to ask yourself from time to time, and your answer to it can be very illuminating. The question is, if someone else were to treat you in the way you treat yourself, would you be that person’s friend? If yes, then you likely have a somewhat healthy amount of self-esteem, or you feel accomplished during your daily tasks, or you’re grateful for where you are in life.

If not, then it could be that you need to be kinder to yourself. No one ever became healthier, more actualized, interested and empowered by continually bringing themselves down, or by continually allowing harmful self-talk to reign supreme. It’s thiis question that, when asked and answered, can be a call to action, perhaps helping us once again see how we need to make personal or life changes to help us bask in that self-care.

Let us help you start on this journey. The more you can curate that headspace, the stronger you will be. Please, consider our warm advice:

Admit when you need aid
For many of us, our pride and ego can get in the way of the things we really need. For instance, we might be really struggling to get to sleep, but due to our partner’s hard work effort each day, we feel as though we cannot ask them to pick up and tend to our baby crying at night, at least once in a while. But if you desperately need sleep, asking is important. This little example shows that just a question, or a willingness to express yourself, or sometimes even being firm with someone allows you to seek the help you need. 

No matter if you need to find the best migraine medications, or speak to a therapist about your lack of self-esteem, or ask a friend to help you with a home chore during a day where your schedule is completely full, relying on a little help can allow you to express that worried energy. This, in effect, will be giving yourself the vital permission to admit you need help from time to time, which is certainly a worthwhile means of being kinder to yourself.

Don’t be afraid to treat yourself
Once in a while, give yourself a gift at random. A little indulgence and taking just a little cash out of your budget to buy something nice, even if its just a nice lunch outside of the office, can show you that you deserve a treat. Sometimes, your treat may be getting a massage or enjoying a premium coffee, or perhaps purchasing an audiobook for your commute, or playing a fun videogame. 

If you work hard, you provide, you care for yourself and you know how to budget, you should never feel bad about purchasing a small extra item that helps you get through the day. Many wish to downplay materialism or wanton purchasing as a great evil, which is can be if left unchecked, but sometimes a nice pick-me-up or a tiny bit of retail therapy can help us feel as though all of our hard work was worth it, and it can add value to our life. A beautiful candle for our home office desk, for instance, can help us feel comfortable and relaxed while working on our home projects. It all begins with believing you are worthy of that treat.

You’re trying your best
It’s very easy to hold yourself to an incredibly intensive standard. This can also leave us feeling somewhat demotivated from time to time. Sure, you might not be experiencing five promotions a year, or you may still need to work on your weight, or perhaps you failed to hold that elevator door open for someone this morning because you were afraid of being late for work.

You’re still a good person, and you’re still trying your best. Sometimes simply living as well as we can is as good as being a super-successful mega-star, because life is not easy, and giving ourselves credit for the small things can help us in no uncertain terms.

Forgive yourself
Many of us hold guilt for a wide array of things, some of them significant, most of them not. Perhaps you insulting a friend in second grade. It might be time to stop holding yourself to account for that. Perhaps you failed to hit your target weight last year. That’s fine, there’s always this year. To move forward, sometimes you have to stop weighing yourself down, and nothing weighs us down like artificial guilt. Forgive yourself, it’s a great idea.

With this advice, we hope you can be kinder to yourself going forward.

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