Caring for ageing parents can be one of the hardest changes in anyone’s life - one day you’re calling for a chat, and the next you start to notice little changes with them, like the stairs seeming to be harder or they’re having trouble with the weekly shop, and so on. And once you do start to notice that they might need some help, it’s normal to want to step in right away, but you’ve got to be careful not to take control.
Support Works Best When It Still Feels Like Their Life
Most older parents really don’t want to feel like they’re being managed, and even when they do need help, they still want choice, privacy, and, of course, dignity. So you can’t just swoop in and reorganise everything, and instead you need to offer them some support in a way that also keeps them feeling like themselves.
That could start with asking some simple questions to find out more rather than instantly making plans for them. Ask what feels difficult at the moment? What would make things easier? What do they want help with and what do they still want to do by themselves? Just asking questions like these means you can let them be as independent as possible and just help out in small ways to begin with.
Focus On Making Everyday Things Easier
A lot of the time, it’s the practical tasks that begin to be a problem before anything else, and that could include things like getting in and out of the bath, walking longer distances, feeling steady when they get up from their seat, and so on. So if you can make these things a little easier, that can definitely go a really long way.
This is where tools and support can really do a lot of good, and a trusted mobility equipment supplier can provide some handy and useful aids that reduce risk and improve confidence, but in a way that doesn’t turn the house into something scary and clinical.
Let Them Lead Wherever Possible
One of the hardest parts of caring is resisting the urge to take over, especially when it can feel quicker to just do everything for them. But over time, that can just mean they’re less independent when they don’t need to be, and that’s a shame.
If they can still do something safely, even if it takes a bit longer, let them because they’ll feel better and they’ll probably be more willing to ask for help with the trickier things.
Care Is Also Emotional
Ageing is hard because it comes with some unpleasant feelings for everyone - your parents might literally be mourning the things they’ve lost, like energy, freedom, or perhaps confidence. They know it’s happened, and they know they need help, so they’re not asking for a solution (that’s already in hand) - they may well just want some company.
That’s why you can help your ageing parents massively by just sitting with them and talking about ordinary things or watching something silly together. That can be enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment